My first baby Kia was born in 2003 and wow how time has gone by so super fast.
Two more little beauties later, my son Cuba who is 7 years old and my youngest daughter Coco-Ivy who is 3 years old, I often have moments of panic knowing how the ordinary and extraordinary experiences and memories of raising a family can become a distant blur, as we unashamedly rush around in our fast paced family bubble.
Kia is almost 17 years old, she was my little princess, who didn’t leave my side like my shadow and we spent all our time together. These days she is a typical teenager, so we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. She’s now in 6th form school studying English literature, media studies and health and social care. She is considering a career in marketing which I am thrilled about. She has been super busy working part time in a bar and grill restaurant and has had a steady boyfriend for over a year [which is another conversation in itself].
I’m really happy for her to live her own life growing up into the beautiful young lady she is becoming, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, she has certainly had to deal with many challenges on the way, especially from her peers. And I have felt each tough time she has experienced as they were my own. It’s so hard to witness your precious daughter experiencing brutal negativity at the hands of others.
I often reflect on my parental input especially at the moment with Kia as she is approaching her 17th birthday this year. We are raising our children in different times and with the current impact of the rapidly changing outside influences and distractions, particularly with social media, celebrity culture and reality TV to name a few. And these factors can really complicate parenting and our relationships with our kids, we parents truly have our work cut out these days.
And theres the obligitory mum/dad guilt that preys on most parents on a seven times a day basis contributing to countless sleepless nights. What if I say too much to the point where she doesn’t pay a blind bit of notice to anything I have to say because of course, most kids know it all these days from as young as 12 years years old. Or, what if I don’t say enough before she leaves home and fly’s the nest, if I think I suffer from sleep deprivation now I may be in for a shock when the empty nest syndrome day arrives, BIG TIME.
There are so many things I want her to know.
As the very talented and wise Bruce Lee has famously quoted, “Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays” Bruce Lee
So, after a lot of thought and consideration I have decided to do what I do best and simply write/type 10 things I want my daughter to know. So, fingers crossed my words are received well.
To my beautiful Kia,
I’m hoping you will read and take inspiration from these words I have written from me to you with love. I have watched you grow from my perfectly formed, angelic first born baby into a stunning and incredible young lady. We have laughed and cried together and witnessed our best and worst times too. It’s not always been a smooth journey as we have traveled through some extremely rocky roads. But thats all good as thats normal isn’t it? Life has certainly had and will still have its challenges, but as long as we remember those challenges have all been temporary obstacles as hard as they have all been as we master the skills set to slay them with bravery and our dignity in tact.
So here are from me to you some simple things I want you to know and remember as you enter the next stepping stones in your life journey.
Be yourself You are and have always been enough. You are funny, kind, gentle, talented, smart and beautiful inside and out. You can sing, dance, act and have many gifted sporting abilities so use them to their full potential and shine, even if its just for fun.
Always try your best You’ve heard me say this to you so many times before but without sounding like a broken record it’s the only way you will ever know what your full capabilities will ever be. Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, you be the boss of you, no matter how big or small the choices in life are.
Never be afraid to say ‘NO’ This word ‘NO’ is a powerful one so be brave, follow your instincts and keep yourself safe at all times and use your voice. And, when there are people in need use your strong and powerful voice to help them too.
Learn from your success’s and your mistakes As you know, life is full of both good and bad times. Learn from all of them and be the smart and sassy woman you were born to be.
Anything is possible when you have the right friends there to support you, it’s not the quantity of friends or even followers and likes on social media that count but the quality of people you choose to engage and share your life with.
Be Kind, keep on being kind to everyone, even when you feel like biting back and retaliating to negativity, just kill them with kindness and walk on.
You deserve the very best and don’t you ever forget it, so look after yourself, eat well, keep active and protect yourself. Remember, your body is your temple.
Follow your dreams, don’t hold back and be true to yourself. Ignore all the haters who are consumed with negativity and bitterness they will only drag you down with them.
Always remember you are completely and utterly loved, there is so much love in the world because of you, you make our world a better place to be.
The best is yet to come, enjoy life and most of all have fun.
All my love always,
Mum x x x